HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
