i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
