: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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