there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
