All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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