If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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