At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
