My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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