ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
