I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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