I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
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