Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
