then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
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