What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
