You don't have asthma, your pregnant
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Randomize
