my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Randomize
