It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
