$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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