Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
