Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
