He is such a slut. More and more my type.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize
