she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
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