His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
