In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
