i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
