Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
