kristin has been a bad kristin
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I pour the whiskey from now on
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
