he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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