I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
