He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
