And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
