i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
