Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
