So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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