so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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