zippers are such a cool invention
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
