READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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