Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
