Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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