I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I have aggressive nipples.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
