awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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