so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
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