I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
