So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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