Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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