Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
my sisters under your porch take her home
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
