Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
