Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
