Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Naked Twister starts at high noon
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
