Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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